So this post comes with a heavy, heavy heart. I mean a heavier heart than I knew I was even capable of having. On Monday we lost our dog Chandler, by a tragic accident. Channy had been a Mercer for about as long as we have been a Mercer family. We got him in August of 2008, shortly after we had gotten married, and before the birth of Olivia. Looking back, he was really such an amazing dog, I have always said we have been so lucky with our dogs, not having health problems, potty training so well, and only mildly chewing (and that wasn't even Chan that was our lab, Chelsie) We were blessed. But after the birth of my 2 kids, I wasn't the dog mommy that I should've been. Were they well cared for, sure, all their needs were being met. So I think my guilt is that, I wish I would've let him sit on lap a little more. I wish I would've been as excited to see him as he was excited to see me whenever I got home. I wish I would've taken him to more places than just the groomer and the vets office. I wish I would've just not taken him for granted. He was unknowingly such a part of our family, even though he was in the background most of the time.
For the past 2 days, every little thing makes me miss him. Pulling into the driveway, and opening the garage door and not see him run out to me, him not barking at every stranger, not seeing his little face waiting at the door to be let in, not see him chase the kids across the yard, not watching him follow Chelsie everywhere she goes. Everything in the house feels different, the sounds, the atmosphere, EVERYTHING. Oh goodness what I wouldn't give to hear the little gallop of his paws on the hardwood.
I, loving pictures the way I do, instantly went to look for pics of Channy and to my surprise, I have tons. Anytime I was photographing the kids in the yard, there he was. Maybe in the background sometimes, or maybe him being the little lover he was, he pushed himself to the foreground. Oh how I cherish these photos, because looking through them I really did capture every aspect of who Chandler was, and the little things and he did that made him so unique and special. Oh geez I am going to miss him so much!
I know and pray that with time, this gets easier. There is such an emptiness that I never imagined I could have felt by loosing a pet. It's heart wrenching. I hurt for my husband, I hurt for my kids, and I especially hurt for Chelsie who is going to miss her best friend. So everyone please today instead of just walking by your pet, stop.... give them a hug, a pet on the head, or a little extra attention. Because like with anything you don't know if they will be there tomorrow.
